Laying down my burden

A few days ago I reached the high point of the Camino both literally and spiritually. I rose at 5.30am and left my albergue at 5.50 to begin the ascent to Cruz de Ferro with the aim of being there for sunrise, around 8.15am.  The first part of the walk was by starlight. In an area free of light pollution, I could easily make out the constellations and the Milky Way.  It was awesome and reminded me of the hymn, ‘How great thou art’.  After a short stop for coffee and tortilla, I continued my journey and reached my  first objective of the day just as day was dawning.

Cruz de Ferro is a small iron cross on top of a long wooden pole. It’s origins are steeped in mystery. The most interesting legend is that St James, whose Camino it is, was on mission in this part of Spain. He came across an altar being used in a pagan ritual of human sacrifice. In righteous anger, James grabbed a small stone from his pack and threw it at the altar, which shattered into a thousand pieces. James erected a large cross in its place in honour of the power of the almighty God.

Whatever you think of that story, Cruz de Ferro is a special place. It has become a custom to bring a small stone from home and to lay it down at the foot of the cross, as a sign that you are laying down a burden.  For many people, including me, it was an emotional thing to lay down our stones. There were hugs and tears, smiles and embraces as people shared in this cathartic experience.

Of course, we don’t have to go to a specific place to lay down burdens.  We can come to the foot of the cross wherever, whenever, however we are.  I was reminded of the words of Psalm 55v22: ‘Cast your burden on the Lord and he shall sustain you’.  1 Peter 5v7 is also helpful: ‘Cast all your anxiety on him for he cares for you.’

Having laid my stone and spent a few moments by Cruz de Ferro, I crossed the road, found a gap in the trees and marvelled at the spectacular sunrise. It was a reminder that the Lord does care for me, and a day that will live long in the memory.

The Good Way

The Good Way

‘This is what the Lord says, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”’ (Jeremiah 6:6)

Perhaps it is inevitable, but many Camino walkers are at a crossroads. There are those who travel between jobs, using the opportunity for time out to prepare for the next challenge. There are those who seek to discern their way ahead. There are some who seek closure on a relationship gone wrong or a way through the pain of bereavement.  I have spoken with one person who felt himself falling into temptation on the Camino and sought my counsel.

Some are people of Christian faith, some follow other faiths, some have no faith that they would own up to. Some would like to find faith. Camino walkers are a very diverse bunch!

As some readers will know, I met a famous British comic who is on the Camino. He even bought me a drink! I asked why he was walking the Camino, and his answer was that he has always wanted to do so. That may be the simple answer of many, but perhaps there are deeper reasons. Even on sabbatical leave, I find myself being a pastor. I hope that my listening and my words point people to see where the good way is and find rest for their souls.

In case you are wondering, I don’t consider myself to be at a crossroads, but I am finding rest: in the walking, in the interactions and friendships with others, in the stay at albergues each day. Tonight’s (Wednesday 25/9) albergue in Rabanal is a particular joy. It is run by the London based Confraternity of St James. I write these word sitting in a large orchard garden awaiting afternoon tea. God is good!

Hospitality on the Camino

Hospitality on the Camino

Most pilgrims on the Camino stay each night in Albergues. A night’s stay will rarely cost more than 10 Euros, usually between 5-8 Euros in a shared dormitory and sometimes they are donativos i.e. you pay what you can afford. They range from modern purpose-built hostels to obscure side-street rundown dwellings to historic monasteries to ancient chapels.

One such was Ermita de San Nicolas that I stayed in a few nights ago. This was a small 13th Century building, restored and run by the Italian Confraternity of St James. At one end of the single room were the 8 beds , with a further 4 on a mezzanine floor. In the middle was the long table around which we pilgrims ate our meals. At the far end was a small open chapel. The building had no electricity, so both dinner and breakfast were by candlelight.  Before dinner, we were invited to have our feet washed as a re-enactment of  Christ washing the disciples’ feet. We prayed the Lord’s Prayer together in our own languages. Dressed in a kind of knights’ tabard, with scallop shops hanging over the front, one of the hospitaleros washed one foot, while the next one dried and kissed it! Each one of us had a prayer prayed over us that we would safely reach Santiago. Then we were served dinner – simple fare but lovingly shared.  We sang a few impromptu songs, mainly in Italian. We were taken outside to see the stars, spectacular in an area of little light pollution. It was a truly special evening as we conversed together in our various languages. In the morning breakfast was served, there was another rendition of the Lord’s prayer, a further prayer for our journey and hugs for each of us as we went on our way.

It leaves me asking, how does my hospitality match up? Will I open up my home to all-comers, especially to those in particular need? Do I bless people as they set out and continue on life’s journey?

It’s food for thought  from a very special night at a very special place.

After 8 Days on the Camino

After 8 days walking in which I’ve covered 154 miles, a routine has developed. I get up around 6am and onto the Camino by 6.30-7, with my head torch on. At the earliest opportunity, I stop for breakfast including strong coffee. There will be at least one more stop for lunch. By 2pm I hope to have found a bed for the night. If an albergue is full, I move on.  Once settled in, I shower, change and then wash my walking clothes. Hopefully, they’ll dry in time for the next day!

Sometimes, I walk alone and other times I chat to others. Conversations can become deep very quickly. Although not all pilgrims will journey to Santiago, we have a common direction – east to west - and many of us have a common destination.  On my first day, one woman shared that she was hoping to reconnect with God after suffering abuse in an outwardly respectable Christian marriage, and losing faith.  Yesterday, an American pilgrim told me how he found faith. He was searching for meaning in life.  He saw an ad in a newspaper lying on the ground. It asked, ‘Who is God?’ He rang the telephone number and his faith journey began.

Of course, I share my story too.  I also speak of Toybox, seeking to improve the lot of street children around the world.

At the time of writing, I am staying in a lovely village albergue. The owners are Brazilian, and have connections to the writer, Paolo Coelho. In a short while I will enjoy a shared meal with other pilgrims. It’s smelling delicious!

Please keep praying for me. My feet are blister-free, but my left ankle and right knee have today become a little swollen.  It would be good to experience healing!

A Postcard from the Camino

Postcards from the Camino

Here I am! There’s been much planning, training and waiting, but finally I am walking the Camino de Santiago from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago del Compostela.

Day 1 was easier than I expected.  About 16 miles up over foothills of the Pyrenees, joining many other pilgrims. I walked on my own and I walked with others. I had many conversations along the way, some superficial but some quite deep as we shared why we are walking the Camino.

Two particular things stand out. At dinner in the Albergue at Roncesvalles, I was telling Steve, a retired US forces captain, that I am raising money for Toybox by walking. When he heard about the plight of street children with no birth certificate, he spontaneously and quietly slipped me 20 Euros. Such generosity! After dinner, I joined many other pilgrims for Mass in the church. We were blessed by a 30th Anniversary performance of an excellent local choir. Such harmony!

Today (Day2) has been a long day – 23 miles walked. The Camino is very busy and many hostels are ‘Complet’ i.e. full. I am blessed to be staying at a ‘Donativo’, a hostel where you pay or not, as you are able. At dinner, we were 20 people around the table, made up of about 10 nationalities.

I aim to send a few more of these ‘postcards’ as I journey.

Buen Camino!

Walking the Way

(This is the text of my article for the magazine of Well Street United Church - July/Aug 2019 edition)

Are you walking the Way?

Jesus says, ‘I am the Way ….and the truth and the life’ (John 14:6).  

In Spanish, the first part of that phrase reads, ‘Yo soy el camino.’  That the last word of that sentence is in bold may give you a clue to where I am going next!  In September, I am setting off to walk the Way of St James, better known as the Camino de Santiago.  It’s a walk of approximately 500 miles from St Jean Pied-de-Pont in France to Santiago de Compostela in north-western Spain. 

You may remember that last year I took a half-sabbatical with the intention of taking the other half not too long after.  It is this other half that I am using to walk the Way.  Why would I want to walk 500 miles, putting my feet, ankles, knees, hips etc through potential agony for up to 25 miles a day?  Broadly speaking, this is how I see my time on the Camino.

First and foremost, it’s a journey with God.  My life as a disciple of Jesus is not only about the destination, but also about walking the way with Jesus.  Before they were called ‘Christians’, the early New Testament believers were known as those ‘who belonged to the Way’ (Acts 9:2).  Santiago is believed by many to be the final resting place of James, the brother of John.  I have no particular belief in that, but over many centuries it has been the reason for millions of pilgrimages along the Way of St James.  For me, that makes the journey at least as holy as the destination. As I walk thousands of steps each day, I aim to listen to God and have fresh encounters with God, just as those two disciples met with and listened to the Risen Jesus on the road to Emmaus.

Second, it’s a journey with the world.  People from all across the globe come to walk the Camino, people of faith, people of no faith, people seeking God.  There is community along the Way, a community of which I am already a part as I follow the current journeys of others via social media.  I’m looking forward to joining it in person, sharing with others and learning from them.  I may not look forward to the shared dormitories at hostels en route (one with over 100 beds in one room!), but falling into step alongside other pilgrims for a few minutes or hours or even days will be good.  Some talk of friends for life being made on the Way.

Third, it’s a journey with myself.   Physically, it’s a bigger challenge than I have ever taken on before.  I’ve done long-distance walks of 200 miles or so, but that was 30 years ago and more! Will my body cope with between 15 & 25 miles walking, day after day?  Emotionally, will I be lonely, separated from my wife for up to a month? How will I manage without home comforts, and carrying very little for the journey?  I recognise that the years I have left on this earth are less than those I have had!  I want to think about how I will make the most of the rest of my life.  

I want to make the most of this journey on the Camino.  That’s why I’ve decided to raise money for Toybox, whose vision is of a just world with no street children.  I’d love to raise £1000 to help!  If you feel led to support, you can do so through my giving page at https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/TimEdworthy.  Alternatively, there will be a sponsorship form at each of our four churches, and I can forward your gift to Toybox on my return from the Camino. Please see below for more details.

Whether or not you feel able to give, please can I ask for your prayers?  This will be a major challenge for me, and it will be great to know that I have many others walking the Way with me in prayer!

As those on the way say to each other, ‘Buen Camino!’

Tim

Walking the Camino de Santiago

(This is the text from my giving page)

On the 3^rdSeptember 2019, I’ll be setting off on the walk of a lifetime: around 500 miles on the Camino de Santiago.  I’ll be walking between 15 & 25 miles a day, aiming to finish the journey within 4 weeks with maybe a rest day or two along the way.

I’ve decided to raise money for Toybox, whose mission is ‘changing the world for street children’. One area of their work that really touches me is that of birth registration.  

In areas of poverty few children are registered at birth. Often families turn to the streets for a source of income. As they cannot legally hold a job the cycle continues as a person who does not officially exist cannot officially have children.

Toybox help break this cycle by taking children (and sometimes their parents) through the registration process and giving them an official identity.  

It costs £32 to complete the registration process for one child.  I aim to raise £1000 and make a difference for 32 children. Your donation could help turn one or more street children from ‘non-persons’ to people with dignity and opportunity.

Together we can change their world!

'I still haven't found what I'm looking for'

‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’

Chances are you’ll have heard the above lyric and may even be able to hum the tune.  Thirty-one years ago, the song reached number 6 in the UK singles chart and number 1 in the US.  It’s been ubiquitous in radio playlists ever since.

Bono, the Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr: collectively known as the band ‘U2’, whose album ‘The Joshua Tree’ included this song.   

But wait a minute: what do they mean they still haven’t found what they are looking for?  Aren’t they meant to be a Christian band?  Those were the questions circulating among the festival goers of Greenbelt back in 1987.  After all, Bono had announced in U2’s impromptu performance there in 1981, that they came because they felt the Lord was telling them to.  Subsequent songs seemed to back up that status as a Christian band: ‘Sunday, Bloody Sunday’ with its intent to ‘claim the victory Jesus won’; ‘40’, Bono’s take on Psalm 40; and ‘Pride (In the name of love)’, though more obscure in its references, alluded to Jesus with its line, ‘One man came he to justify’.  For Bono, the band’s usual lyricist, to declare ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’ seemed like a betrayal of the faith.  Many Christian young people – evangelical Christians at least – felt that the band was backsliding. I recall one incensed letter – I think it was to ‘21^stCentury Christian’ magazine – that castigated Bono and urged him, in as many words, to pull himself together!

What are we to make of the band’s faith, both then and now?  The truth is that U2 has never set out to be a Christian band.  Rather, they are a band whose music and lyrics are influenced by the Christian faith of three of them.  Adam Clayton is the one band member who has followed more of a typical ‘Rock’n’Roll’ lifestyle, although there are signs these days of his own sympathy for the Christian faith.  Like anyone (like me, anyway) growing into adult years with religious beliefs, they have embraced certainty and doubt at different times, and maybe at the same time.  They have explored faith through music and like many artists, they have left a deliberate ambiguity.  It is not up to the band to tell their fans what to believe, but they provoke and cajole us into thinking about these things.  

For a while, one of the ‘go-to’ speakers for Greenbelt was Revd John Smith, an Australian minister. He hung out with bikers and drank beer, heaven forfend!  He also knew Bono, so that was cool.  At the festival in, it must have been 1987, he spoke of how Bono had visited the day before, disguised as a steward.  That’s by the by.  Smith spoke about the criticism of the song and asked, ‘How many of you have really found what you are looking for?’  Good question!

In any case, it’s unwise to build a case based upon a song title, and that’s what many at the time appear to have done.  ‘Bono still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.  Does that mean he’s no longer a Christian?’  Take a look at these lyrics from the song:

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colours will bleed into one
Bleed into one.
But yes, I'm still running.

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross of my shame
Oh my shame, you know I believe it.

But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.

Bono speaks of what theologians call ‘the now and not yet’ of the Kingdom of God.  Jesus Christ came to usher in God’s Kingdom – the now – and much has changed with his coming, for many people.  There is still, however, much brokenness in the world, and in that sense the Kingdom has not yet come.  ‘I believe in the Kingdom come…’

Bono relates what Jesus has done for him, releasing him from shame into a new freedom through the cross. Yet he wants more of God and of God’s Kingdom.  It’s right for him to sing, ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’.  It’s appropriate for me.  I want more of God’s Kingdom.  I want to see broken lives restored, equality for all, peace for all, freedom for all, opportunity for all.  

The music and performances of U2 in the 90’s had the critics continuing to question the faith of the band (more of that in another blog).  Yet the humanitarian actions of Bono (e.g. Jubilee 2000, DATA, Amnesty International) and music of the band since 2000 leaves me no doubt: they still haven’t found what they are looking for!  But they believe that one day they will.  

The band’s music points me back to the Bible and the ‘now and not yet’ of God’s Kingdom.  How am I seeking to make a difference in God’s world?  How am I are a part of the Kingdom coming?  I still haven’t found what I am looking for, but one day I will!